Dividing by Zero
Cat Toast Theory
Galactic Cheese
Dog Tricks
Dairy vs Diary
Nuclear Fission
Blue Things
Yellow Things
Orange Things
Purple Things
Green Things
Red Things






Dividing By Zero


When dividing by zero you get colors (think of it as dividing by black)...
ex:
using RBG...
(255, 255, 255) = WHITE
(0, 0, 0) = BLACK
(255, 255, 255)/(0, 0, 0) = GREY

I'm still trying to work out how (and what) you get, but my theory is semi-sound (like jello playing the guitar)


Cat vs. Toast


A cat (as we all know) always lands on it's feet.

A piece of toast (with jelly/butter) always lands butter side down.

What I am proposing is a brand new mode of transportation that involves a piece of toast being placed on the back side of a cat. When the cat is dropped it attempts to land on it's feet, meanwhile the toast is trying to land butter side down. The problem occurs when one has an extremely overpowering piece of toast or an extremely overpowering piece of cat. Also carpetting may be a concern. For example, dirty carpeting, expensive carpeting, and shag all seem to make the toast more powerful, thusly ending up with an upside down, jelly covered cat. Now, the same rule applies to cats; depending on the cats claws, and the floors covering. For example a cat with long claws over hard wood flooring will become more powerful than the toast and will result in numerous scratches.
To achieve the perfect balance one must attach a gyroscopic carpet piece to the cat (see fig. 1) This will make the cat hover constantly over the carpet, while the toast keep's it in the air. There may be tramatic toast/cat evisceration due to the fact that the toast might rip appart the cat or visa versa. I'm still working on wether jelly is more powerful than butter and how margarine works into the equation.


Fig. 1


Galactic Cheese


The entire galaxy is made up of cheese. For example, cheese is naturally luminescent when you hold it up to the light, and so is the sun. Cheese is high in fluids, so is Earth. The milky way galaxy has been around for at least the ammount of time it takes to make cheese, so by now it has probably turned to cheese, I also strongly believe in the string theroy, but it's more of a string cheese theroy.

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Dog Tricks


If you can't teach an old dog new tricks, then you must be able to teach a new dog old tricks, and if cats are the exact oposite of dogs then you can teach an old cat new tricks and you can't teach a new cat old tricks, so if all of these statements are true then why havn't walabys and all of the marsupial family repopulated austrailia yet?

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Dairy vs. Diary


You can write about your day in a diary, but you can't write about your day in a dairy.

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Nuclear Fission


If a cat can be used as propulsion, then teoretically nuclear fission can be created with a potato, a microwave, two walnuts, some duct tape, some apple cider, and an old nintendo game system.

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Blue Things


Blue things are blue.

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Yellow Things


Yellow things are yellow.

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Orange Things


Orange things are orange.

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Purple Things


Purple things are purple.

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Green Things


Green things are green.

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Red Things


Red things are red.

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© 2001-2012 Scott Stokes (aka Coconut Boy)

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